On Hold?
By Scott Harrup | October 19, 2009
Driving to work this morning, I heard a local radio host play a clip of Dr. Phil’s advice to couples who are considering parenthood. I’ll say up front that Dr. Phil made a number of solid points, but one of his remarks really seemed at odds with my take on parenting.
“Are you willing to make the sacrifices of money, emotion and energy, and put your life on hold?” Dr. Phil asked his audience.
Sacrificing money, emotion and energy is part and parcel of parenting, but that last clause in his question grabbed my attention.
Parenting is anything but putting your life on hold. Children powerfully shape and immeasurably enrich who you are. When Lindsay, Connor and Austin were born in 1992, 1996 and 2000, respectively, Jodie and I were propelled into new dimensions of our own lives. We can’t imagine our home without the love and vitality and humor each of our children brings.
Are there things I was doing before becoming a parent that I am no longer doing? Sure. But everything in life takes time. Any goals that find fulfillment after my children are grown will have benefitted from the experiences of my parenting years.
And parenting really continues throughout life. At 45, I’ve been out from under my parents’ roof for more than 23 years. But I still feel their influence and value their wisdom. They are both within shouting distance of 70, but remain very involved parents and grandparents. I hope to have the same kind of relationship with my children when they are adults.
Is my life on hold? No way. It’s been in overdrive for nearly 18 years. And the fun is just beginning.
If you’re contemplating parenthood, I agree with Dr. Phil that it’s a big decision. I doubt you and your spouse will ever make a bigger one. But if you commit that decision to God, and if He blesses you with a child, you can count on it — you’ll look back and realize your life was really on hold up till now.
Topics: Family Life |
October 19th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Wow Scott. Dr. Phil really said that on parenting? Sounds like its kind of a handicap to him, “put your life on hold.” What life is more significant than passing on values to the next generation? Any way, great food for thought and representation of current preceptions.
Randy
October 19th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Scott: great work on catching that point! Saying that having kids puts lives on hold is a self-seeking expression. I’m with you - quite the opposite. As a parent, it never was your life to begin with. IMO, parenthood was intended to be a never-ending, living, and giving chain of interconnected abundance.